I wanted to apologize to you Katy. Rest assured, that I am not a stalker. When I was peeking around on your old Vox blogs I was in no shape or form at all trying to 'stalk' you. I was only trying to learn about an artist I admire.

I was e-mailed with a tip from one of your Skary users that some people had in the past teased you about some stalkers that you did have in the past. I had never really considered the thought that anybody would want to stalk you in the first place. I surely didn't want to appear to be stalking anyone, as it isn't my intention to do so in the first place.

I was nosing around in the first place out of sheer curiosity, and the fact that your unique point of view and interests were so similar to my own. I felt compelled to learn more about the artist behind the art, and lo-and-behold, found your blog. It was rather easy to find your blogs. They were public, and according to the e-mailed tips I have recieved, that other users had also visited your old Vox blogs to simply say hi or just take a look as well. I'm wondering if maybe my invasion of your old blogging site alone isn't the reason you're upset after all.

I made a post in the Skary forums about 'discovering' you 'secret' blog that others already apparently knew about. I was so happy to finally catch a glimpse at the real artist behind the art that I just couldn't help but post it. I was a regular daily poster on your forums. Indeed, I am a blog-a-holic, and wanted to blog about my spurt of happiness.

One day later, I had a funny feeling. That maybe I should edit or remove my post. What if it might upset people, including you, that I was flaunting knowledge of your blog site to others? I went to the forums to change it, but found the post was already REMOVED. Uh-oh...

After that, I checked up on your Vox blog, and noticed you were slowly deleting t, bit by bit, and hiding it from the public. I thought that I was the cause for this, and it upset me greatly. Maybe I am the reason. Besides that, your blog was very important to you. I could easily see that. To see you destroy it, maybe because of me, put me in an immediate state of misery.

I immediately asked T1NK to remove me from your forums. I figured that if I upset you so much, that I would punish myself by restricting myself from one of the things I valued; being in the artists community site. So I asked to be banned, and regret it. That night, my Mister Creazil orders were cancelled, further confirming my suspicions that I greatly upset you. I couldn't check to see how mad, as you no longer had a blog to read. I was always hoping to read your point of view on the situation, so I could be certain as to what exactly what I did that made you hide even further from the public. I never did find anything, it's still a mystery to me. Shortly after, I was also denied access from listening to your wonderful Sixcasts, which I still cannot access. I greatly miss it, and wish things were different.

Did my nosing around actually upset you that much? Do you believe that I am a stalker Katy?

I am a weary young man, and my heart is heavy with burdens that are hard to explain. I've been abused by the world, simply because I am respectful, polite, courteous, artistic, and socially awkward. I was taught that fighting is wrong, that it's wise to respect ones' elders, and that you should treat others with as much kindness as possible. In red-neck Alberta, you get beat up over being something like me. People take advantage of timid, soft-souled people like me, I get mocked, laughed at, and treated with disdain by strangers that I try so hard to be polite to. People claim that I am weak, simply because I won't stand up for myself out of humilty, and that I should 'grow some balls'.

I don't want to be like those people. I want to be who I am. I am a social outcast who loves imagination, fairy tales, magic, mystery, horror, and cartoons. I like to be reclusive, and discover things on my own. I have a hungry curiosity, and I enjoy trying to fill it by searching for answers in places that many people don't even care to look.

Your art is one of only a few dozen things in my world that interests me. It's whimsical, dark, unique... Of course I love it. Your art made me smile, a rare thing. It also made me happy, knowing that I could communicate with the artist and community, and sharing my love for the things I enjoy with other people.

If I didn't have my curiosity, I never would have found your art. It brought a little joy through a time of hardship to me, and I will always appreciate that fact. It made me smile when my world was gray, and inspired me to practice my art work once again after years of suppression.

Katy, you cannot know how truly upset and terribly sorry I am, for causing any hardship to you or your fans. The fact that this issue still exists is a major issue with me. I am not a 'creepy stalker', just a nosy little bastard that couldn't control his happiness and posted his feelings without considering the consequences. I am so sorry, and still confused, over this whole incident. I wish I could gain your forgiveness, and find a way to redeem myself to everyone. If you ever decide to believe me, and consider my words, please... Please let me know what you think. I can't go throughout life, knowing that somebody out there has the completely wrong idea about me and who I am. It's hard thinking that someone hates you, just because you're nosy. If true, well... I hope it's not true.

Life goes on, and I've actually found more things I enjoy. Other artists, and others activities. Still, I want to patch things up.

I'm still a supportive fan. I'm rooting for ya from the sanctuary of my tiny room. I'm hoping for the day that I'm allowed to come back to the forums, and that you finally understand that I need you to recieve my apology. I miss the forum and the other Skary Skouts. I miss being able to watch your flashes from your exclusive fan site, where only real fans are allowed to go and visit. I miss being able to post comments, and having your witty remarks show up the next day. I had a lot of fun on your sites. I really, really screwed up, somehow...

Find it in your heart Katy. I'm a Canadian, and although I come from a red-neck area, we have our ethics and a little bit of pride left. I'm not lying, and when I say that I'm sorry, I really truly mean it. Please, forgive me, accept my apology... Please.